a young pakistani doctor blogs...
Saturday, April 29, 2006
  Downswing
I’m feeling depressed. I didn’t study much yesterday, getting caught up a few things at home. I went to bed feeling miserable, but woke up early and got to work. I had barely gotten moving when a friend of mine from Peshawar came to the house for a visit. I like this guy a lot and it was great to see him again. He wanted to stay for some 3-4 hours, but I had to tell him I have work to do and it would be inconvenient for me. He seemed disappointed and I felt like a jerk because he had come to Islamabad mostly just to visit me. He left after two hours, and then my father called me to his study. He wanted to talk about my older brother’s marriage. My parents made a lot of mistakes raising my older two siblings. It’s too long a story to get into now, suffice to say that the conversation just ended up depressing me. He then also discussed my own marriage and expressed his concern that the mehr my fiancé’s family asked for might be too much for him and asked me what he should do if that happens. We had this conversation before several times and every time it ended up upsetting me. They just remind me what a backward and ignorant culture I was born in.
 
Comments:
DrPak ... I hope that your mood lightens, and that your spirits lift.

You seem to have an awful lot of things on your mind. Is there someone there that you can talk to about your concerns?

Sometimes, when we share things with others, it helps to keep things in balance, and allows us to focus more closely on positive things ... sometimes it also helps us to recognize where we might be setting ourselves up for a worse time than necessary.

Hang in there ... keep writing. And if you're not already doing so, find someone you can trust to talk to.

You're in my thoughts.
 
if you don't mind me asking is your father being pessimistic or are your in laws to be those kind of people?
 
Thanks a lot moof, that's very kind of you.

Zak, a little bit of both really. Its their "rasam". You know how it is, the usual BS.
 
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Recent med school graduate from Peshawar, Pakistan. Started blogging when in throes of final year exams. Currently studying for USMLE Step 1. Aiming for the 2008 Match. I blog about my studies, my worries, and my thoughts on life. I live in Islamabad.

BLOGS I READ
Aya's Randomness
I, Zak
Crow's Nest
Rai
Kevin MD
Sometime's Sobia

Watan Dost
Fingers and tubes
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