a young pakistani doctor blogs...
Friday, January 06, 2006
  Stupid Nothings
A promising day that ended on a sour note. I clocked in 6 hours of work well before evening and these days, since I’m awake till 2am, I thought I would move on to get a lot more work done. The wind came out of my sails soon afterwards though, and rather than building on the progress I had already made, I couldn’t study anymore and spent the rest of the night moping. Good thing most people in the house were asleep or on another floor. I was feeling grouchy.

These days I have a nice little fantasy that I use to help me go to sleep. I often have to divert my mind towards something other than the day that just passed in order to stop my racing mind and slow it down to a stop. I fantasize having written a book that earned me Big Bucks and then using that to go live for a year or so in a hotel like Marriott or something, where I’d have them wait on me hand and foot. I’d spend the whole day watching DVDs of good movies and TV shows (ER, Road to Avonlea, Welcome Back Kotter, and many others), exercising, sleeping, reading and perhaps writing if the mood struck me. I’d be divorced from any responsibilities. No exams to study for. No future to worry about. Just devoting my attentions to trying to kill my brain cells through lack of activity. I haven’t had a vacation in years. I don’t know when I’ll ever get to have one.

My sleep habits are working out just fine. Six hours at night. No breakfast in the morning. One hour in the afternoon, right after lunch. It comes around to only seven hours - so I managed to steal an hour from nowhere, although I didn’t plan it that way.

I’m just going to brush off today’s bad ending to an otherwise good day. I can’t let myself get down over stupid nothings. I need to stay positive or I’ll never get anything done. I’ve just got to chip away at this monster of an exam on day at a time. I’m a little worried about not meeting my targets, but I figured that I’m building momentum and pretty soon I’ll start clocking in a regular 10 hours. I hope I manage to do that tomorrow. Tomorrow’s another day.
Nice blog. Are you going to leave Pakistan? Maybe you should blog about why so many useful doctors try so hard to leave?
^ brain drain?

Anyways DP a teacher of mine used to plan according to her namaz times..its a good way of keeping one regimented..and realising that one is human and needs some healthy alternatives before restarting helps..too much TV or thinking doesn't help..
few more months dude ,rest of ur life is gona b a long holiday.now u ll say theres residency n stuff but thts a holiday compared to other ppl who hv to worry abt jobs n stuff,go thru all tht fuss.
I plan to 'specialize' in the US. After I'm done, I'll come back. It's not a permanent move.

I was born in another country and lived there for the first 17 years. I know what its like to live outside your country without roots. I don't want that for myself or my kids. I've also seen first hand (in Peshawar) how many senior doctors are practically celebrities. Everyone knows them. They've really carved a niche for themselves. That's how I see myself at 60, not as an immigrant who 'returns' to Pakistan to retire after having lived his whole professional life outside.

Besides, Pakistan is going on to great things. Wouldn't want to miss that party.
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Recent med school graduate from Peshawar, Pakistan. Started blogging when in throes of final year exams. Currently studying for USMLE Step 1. Aiming for the 2008 Match. I blog about my studies, my worries, and my thoughts on life. I live in Islamabad.

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