About twice a week, for a long time now, I’ve been getting spam emails from African widows who are fleeing dictators in their own country and wish to escape with the millions of dollars they took with them from a bank in some African country with my cooperation for a certain percentage of the money. They require my bank account information so they can send all these millions to me. I’m supposed to keep it for them, until they escape the dictator’s secret police and escape to neighboring African country. Thereafter I would be expected to return their percentage to a bank that they specify. These poor widows always claim that they know they can trust me. How they have come to know about my kind and trustworthy nature, I’m not sure.
In any case, I got a very similar letter today which was a little smarter than the others I’ve been receiving. For one thing, the English was a little better. There were fewer mistakes. Secondly, and this was new to me, was the inclusion in the email of another
email address that I was supposed to send the information to. That’s smart because even if I report this email as spam, the email address I’m supposed to write to can’t ever be reported as such since I never received anything from it.
Here was the email I received today. I changed the name they address me as, because the bastard spammers actually got my name right:FROM MRS.VALERIE MBEMGABUMARANG 3990.HARARE, ZIMBABWEDearest XXXXXX,I am not surprise on the fear/confusion this letter might cause you coming from a widow that you do not know or have never met before but I decided to send you this letter irrespective of the above facts because I am desperately in need of your help.As you might be aware of the recent problem in our country (Zimbabwe) regarding the ill treatment and silent killings of the white and black farmers who are against the farm invasion by President Robert Mugabe(a dictator, a killer and the worst ever ruling president alive in Africa), It happened that my husband was among the latest victims of silent killings by the war veterans armed by President Robert Mugabe which happened on the 9th February 2005.You can catch more news on the following websiteshttp://www.cnn.com/2001/WORLD/africa/08/12/violence.zimbabwe http://www.guardian.co.uk/zimbabwe/articleBut before this incident, my late husband brought to my attention the sum of US$7.8 million which he successfully took to the Republic of South Africa for safe-keeping. As if he knew that his final days was approaching, he asked my only son to move over to South Africa to secure the beneficiary ownership of the said fund which he kept in one of the biggest private security company there.The main reason why I am contacting you through this medium is for you to contact my son Engr. XXXXXXXX on his email address as XXXXXXXXXXXXXX@hotmail.com immediately in other to assist him in moving this fund abroad as our continuing stay in Africa might cost our life. The exact thing that you will be required to do according to my knowledge would be to provide him with your account details, your direct telephone/fax numbers and travel to meet him in South Africa for aiding him in opening an account where the funds will be deposited before its transfer as he is not allowed to operate any form of bank account or even do any investment because he is a refugee.There is no risk involved in assisting us as all necessary legal documents that will be required by South African government for transfer of huge amounts will be available but you will have to ensure that you will keep this confidential as our life and security depends on this fund. Should you be willing to assist us in this endeavor, 20% of the total sum will be for you, 5% will be mapped out to cover all expenses while 75% will be for us.Please feel free contact my son immediately and should you not be interested, please inform us as well so that we can scout for some one else.Yours faithfully,MRS.VALERIE MBEMGA.
Note how she refers me to CNN and the Guardian. Reference to two genuine news sources might make me think she’s on the level.
I started wondering who might these people think they’re kidding. Does anyone actually fall for this stuff? I mean do such stupid people really exist in today’s world? Who are they? I’d love to met them and ask how they made any money. I’m a doctor, and I’m penniless! This line of thinking extended itself in my head and pretty soon I found myself writing to poor Mrs. Valerie Mbemga son at the specified email address:I have reciewed request for money transfer cooperation from yours mother. I am sorrowful for your troubles. Please accpet my sorries. I think Mugabi is bastard! Well, your mom has gave me this email to be contacting you with details for the money transferation. Well, I am a landowner in Pakistan and will be willing to indulge in the cooperation with you to help you with your trobules. Yours mother had writed that you will be giving me 25 PERCENT of the sum total of the fund. I am finding this sum to be lowful. I am thinking that 30 PERCENT is fare. If you is willing to high the percet than even I am also willing for cooperation. Otherwise, sorry no. I can fly in plane to South Africa to help you if there is agreement in these circumstances. I am waiting, ready.Really, mugabi is bastard! I am with you brother!Sincerely,Pir Muhammad Ghulam Shabbir Khan Chaudry.
Let’s see how these guys respond.