So today was an important day. As my father put it, it was a day when two Doctors joined the family, referring of course to my fiancé and me. I was sad to hear of some friends not making it through with the rest of the class. One girl was due to get married in a week or so, but she’s failed in a subject. That must be a real bummer. For my part, I should be far more grateful than I am. I don’t know why today feels so anti-climatic. I don’t really want to do anything special to mark the occasion. I took the day off from studying, and felt guilty as sin for it. I have to return to the books with a vengeance tomorrow. However, it’s wonderful to say now that there lies nothing on the road for me now except the Step 1. No distractions. No worries. Just the You Ess Em Il Eee Step One.
I can’t really afford to take any breaks to ‘celebrate’. Nor do I want to. I really want to get on with my life – to reach that next stage. To get those kick-ass score in the Steps. To train in the US further with my wife. To earn money I can send back to my parents. To be independent. To move on.
There is a lot left to be done. If you detect a melancholy tone to this post, that’s because I feel melancholy. It’s practically blasphemous to think such thoughts when Allah has been so bountiful to me. I think it’s because of how the worry I had for the result was ruining my steps study. I’m seriously worried about it. I think that tomorrow, when I go at it with an unburdened mind, I’ll do well and feel better about myself. Tomorrow morning, there will be nothing to distract. It shall be focused entirely. Today I was released from the chains of a possible failure. Tomorrow I’ll make use of this freedom.
BTW, I’ll write the next D’s Dilemma blog tomorrow. Watch this space.