When you do nothing but sit in one chair, and worry about nothing but one goal and think about nothing but that goal at the time, you’re mind starts to get weird on you.
I hardly talk to anyone at all these days. I’m in my room, studying or trying to study for at least 14 hours everyday. Time seems to go slowly and it seems to go fast as well. It goes fast because the hours seem to turn forward very fast and before I know it, the day is over. It seems to move very slowly because my blog entries of only a few days ago seem like a million years ago. It’s the weirdest thing - I have an altered sense of reality, as if I’m just a living-breathing machine with a singular purpose. I feel like I’m going crazy. It’s an eerie feeling, as if I’m on a spiritual level aware that this reality of ours is only transitory; that’s its just part of the journey our immortal souls will takes – that there is a life after this one and when we’re there, we’ll look back at this life, with all the problems that we had as a vague blur. I’m reminded of Neo from the Matrix frequently. I feel as if I can sense this world is not totally real.
Or maybe I’m just going crazy.