a young pakistani doctor blogs...
Sunday, July 17, 2005
  What goes up...
I don't feel good. Down in the dumps to be honest. I didn't study much yesterday largely because my insomnia was catching up to me. Today, just as I was getting ready to (enthusiatically) get to work, I got caught up in a stupid fight with a family member that really messed me up. I've just been moping around, feeling really old, feeling really tired and fed up.

The entire writing fantasy was making a come back, but by now I've recognized it for what it really is: escapism. I don't take that line of thinking seriously anymore. It's a nice daydream to have, but that's as far as I let it go. I'll be doing the USMLEs after these exams, and if all goes well, I'll be in working as a resident in the states in 2 years time. I'm still firm on that dream, but the altercation at the homestead has messed me up because it also involved accusations that I'm not studying hard enough, which is not true. I've always been insecure about my academics, and when someone comes along and hits me there, it hurts more so.

I've decided, literally over the course of writing this blog entry, to not let anyone get me down. I've got a great goal to struggle for, and life is full of promise for me. Why let myself get let down by stupid things? I should just let the worry roll over me and burst through the next year with unbridled enthusiasm, casting my worries to the wind. I get more work done that way. Believing that I'll get to where I'm going will probably get me half way there.
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Recent med school graduate from Peshawar, Pakistan. Started blogging when in throes of final year exams. Currently studying for USMLE Step 1. Aiming for the 2008 Match. I blog about my studies, my worries, and my thoughts on life. I live in Islamabad.

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