a young pakistani doctor blogs...
Thursday, July 07, 2005

There’s nothing like that first cup of coffee that starts off your day. I’ve just finished it, and on the back of a good night’s sleep, I feel wonderful and energetic.

Last night, I was feeling like crap. I was depressed, I hated myself, and I was a little scared. I just felt like crap. I only studied for some 7 hours yesterday, and I was beginning to think that maybe I don’t have that extra oomph needed to reach for the skies. What I need is 12 hours a day, everyday for a long, long time. People do it; hell, I’ve done it for prolong periods of time. I should be able to produce the same magic again.

My goals are very important to me, as is the particular girl I mentioned earlier. I want to get far. I want my mind and body to cooperate with me. Get with the program, like. Yesterday I was feeling a little sick. I think I got hypotensive. I’ve been drinking gallons of coffee, and that remains my number 1 source of water, which I suppose is not quite healthy as coffee is a diuretic. So I downed some 3 liters of water over several hours to treat my suspected dehydration, took some vitamins and went to sleep for 8 hours. Like I said, after the first coffee, I’m feeling fresh and gearing to go. I just hope the rest of the day goes well.

I can’t afford to panic and get despondent because I’m behind on my targets. I need to think positively and quell down the urge to throw my hands up, yell an obscenity and storm out of the study room. I need to remind myself that everyone in our class is having a hard time, not just me.

Let’s hope today works out.

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Recent med school graduate from Peshawar, Pakistan. Started blogging when in throes of final year exams. Currently studying for USMLE Step 1. Aiming for the 2008 Match. I blog about my studies, my worries, and my thoughts on life. I live in Islamabad.

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