I woke up in the middle of the night after only 3 hours of sleep. I still have the stomach acidity problem and am sipping some antacids to try to quieten things down there. I don’t feel very sleepy, and I didn’t think I’d easily be able to get back to sleep, so here I am. I might have to get some H2 blockers for this acidity….
There is whole dimension to human existence in spirituality which sometimes escapes me. I am a Muslim, although not a very good one. These means that while I believe firmly in my faith, and understand fully what it is I believe in (as opposed to illogical blind faith), I am not regular in my five daily prayers.
As all humans, I tend to turn to the creator with great purity of heart and ‘sincerity’ when I find myself troubled and I’m doing so these days. I am bothered by the fact that with me, this is a recurring theme. Whenever things get bad, I turn to prayer, and when the weight is lifted from my shoulders, I gradually become careless with regards to my prayers and lose my ‘spirituality’.
Putting that issue aside for now - I feel a lot closer to God now than I was last week. The difference is quite dramatic. I feel more energetic, more ambitious, and more confident that God will help me to iron out my many difficulties. The whole USMLE in 10 months scheme seems achievable when I remember that during that time, I’ll have my prayers to turn to to boost my spirits when they’re flagging.
I’m writing about this because the about-turn in my outlook on life has been quite dramatic since I started praying earnestly again. I feel like a teenager again, eager and gearing to go and tackle a difficult task ahead. Bring it on, the vibe seems to be saying. I haven’t felt this way for years, and when I think that the next 12 months will bring with it very difficult, long hard hours of studying, I think of it more as an adventure than a mind-crushing, frightening experience. After all, if my dreams are realized, I could be starting a residency in the states in two years time. That seems like a really short time.
Uhh…bring it on??