a young pakistani doctor blogs...
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
  I is be back

The phone line and thus my internet connection was cut off till yesterday, and now here I am again. I feel like my writing is a little strained and rusty. That’s one thing I know for sure about writing. If you’re not reading and writing a lot, then writing is a relatively painful process. The words don’t come out as easily, and you feel more conscious of your writing.

How have I fared these last 2 weeks? Well, I went to Peshawar to handle some loose ends over there. I ‘wasted’ two days in the journey there. I ‘wasted perhaps two other days during which I did very little work. The problem is, when I’m not blogging, it hard to keep track of my progress. You loose sight of the ‘big picture’ when the little details are not written down everyday. You are left only with impressions of how the days have passed. This is especially true for me, as I hate thinking about my progress objectively. I’d much rather indulge in the escapism that objective impression provides.

The ‘vibe’ these days is good. I feel okay. I just hope part of that is not due to me being at home, far from the college and the library where legions of my class fellows drudge away at the books for obscene number of hours. Being far removed from ground zero might be giving me a false sense of security. Its funny how I never considered this possibility till now, as I’m writing this blog.

I’m definitely on the move since I last posted. I’m not sitting down moping, but getting work done. I’m not getting it done nearly as fast as I’d like, and I really have to accelerate to finish my targets till the end of this month. If I don’t, I’ll be in biiiig trouble come crunch time, a month from now.

These preps are long. I’m only now beginning to appreciate the absurdity of one enormous exam that has officially been sanctioned 5 months of study time. Five months! So much can happen in five months. Its escapes being called ‘half a year’ by a measly month, otherwise it would seem more formidable that it does now. I’ve never been in a situation like this before, where I had to study continuously, and hard for such a long time. The longest I lugged it out before was 3 months for my fourth year exam, and in this 3 months, I’m counting 2 weeks of exams as well. This final year exam I’m studying for lasts for one and a half month. So that’s five months of studying for the exam, and then an extremely hectic one and a half month in which the exam, with its 9 written tests and 7-8 oral ones are spaced out. Of course, during this one and a half month, the studying will accelerate. But by that time, we’re running on adrenaline and naked fear. The studying just happens by itself.

A day to day blogged progress report from now on should give me more objective overview of my progress. I can look back over the days and see if my studying is consistent.

your writing is great! keep it up!

`jen (from medschoolblues.com)
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Recent med school graduate from Peshawar, Pakistan. Started blogging when in throes of final year exams. Currently studying for USMLE Step 1. Aiming for the 2008 Match. I blog about my studies, my worries, and my thoughts on life. I live in Islamabad.

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